Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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