What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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