I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
