It's Friday. Sex?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
