Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
