I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
