i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hippo gnu deer
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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