Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
