New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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