No awkward lesbian experiences without me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
