Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
a search helicopter?!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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