well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
