I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
