Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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