i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
