is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
