thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
