It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
