If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize