So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
im on a boat
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