Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
