I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
