something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
