We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
