The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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