Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
