not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
