I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
