This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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