ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Someone signed my nipple.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
