hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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