What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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