All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
