im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
