She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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