So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
