Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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