Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Enjoy the penises
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
