I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
