NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
