Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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