Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just pee around me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
