if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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