i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
