you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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