well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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