When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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