Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
