I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
