Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
