Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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