I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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