please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
