11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
