I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
