yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
