Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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