I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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