please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
